Archive for December, 2006

Entry for December 30, 2006

I don’t know if anyone likes old wood as much as I do but this is a barn here in Natchez that I am very fond of. I think it is from the 1800s. Lots of history here in this part of Mississippi. Natchez was the first settlement on the river in these parts. “Natchez Under the Hill” is mentioned in an old John Wayne movie I just saw. More about my new home here later.

Hope everyone is going to have a great New Year. The traditional dinner here in the South is black-eyed peas and collard greens. I’ll have to look up the significance of that. It sounds gross but the peas are made with bacon (one of the four food groups here in the South) and/or ham and are delicious if made the right way. Hmmm. Maybe I’ll make a pot of red beans and rice. You just haven’t lived until you’ve had really killer red beans and rice in New Orleans on a Monday. Really.

Good News

Thank you to Cynthia and Celena for taking the time to read and respond to my ranting. I manage to not let it get under my skin for the most part but don’t mess with my Mom.

However, the good news is FEMA screwed up again and LOST the signed lease for her trailer. So now they have to get her to sign another one and she gets 18 more months to live there. Plus Kevin Davis (the turncoat parish president) cannot override the feds in this area (no trailers in unincorporated parts of Slidell). Ha. Justice prevails due to F****up this time.

FEMA is one giant turd.

From the Ridiculous to the Sublime

FEMA STRIKES AGAIN! It really scares me when I look at how the governmental agencies are screwing up in the Katrina aftermath (and during). This is the latest expenditure on the taxpayers’ behalf. Apparently some people didn’t know how to work the knobs on the gas stove properly and there may have been some fires as a result (so the story goes). The 22nd person (no kidding) to come out and inspect Robert’s FEMA trailer happened to be a trained firefighter who was going from trailer to trailer (with GPS — getting lost anyway), spraypainting the igniter knob (which is clearly marked Ignitor) RED. Badly, I might add. It dripped. Well, thank god we can all breathe a giant sigh of relief THAT is being done at a cost of hundreds of thousands of dollars. Things are moving right along here in Katrina Land.

In the meantime, my Mom, who is moving away from the area because the parish has seized this opportunity to seize her property under the guise of widening the road, (and no unsightly FEMA trailers allowed in unincorporated parts of the parish after March read: that bunch of land we’ve been trying to get next to the ritzy subdivisions right by the water). Where was I?

Oh yeah, after she moved her trailer to the lot next door so her land could be cleared (see second blog entry), FEMA wouldn’t move her back because her lot was too small (even though the trailer was put there originally). So she told the man who owned the land to do an evicition proceeding (are you with me here?) so FEMA could do their thing. They didn’t and she almost got kicked out and moved to a horrible trailer park 30 minutes away after just undergoing major surgery (she’s 70). Honest, it really happened. I think it was the sheriff’s office who finally straightened the whole mess out at the last minute. She got her trailer moved back to her own lot next door.

She gets a phone call from FEMA the next day asking if she still needs a trailer. No kidding.

You heard it from the horse’s mouth. This is not apocryphal (friend of hairdresser story). In fact, I think they called her a few days after from another FEMA office and asked her if she needed a trailer.

It’s nut’s I tell ya, nuts.

Casting Call Vote

I am trying to cast a remake of a live action film. I’m in the middle of writing it at the moment. It’s called “Dudley Do-Right: The Movie.” The first one with Brendan Fraser didn’t do too well.

So far I have Matthew McConahey as Dudley, Reese Witherspoon as Nell, so how about either Dustin Hoffman or Dom DeLouise as Snidely Whiplash? Vote for one. No prizes this time.

Snidely Whiplash

home.rixtele.com/~urdskalla/Skivomslag/Dustin_Hoffman.jpg or

OOO! OOOO! OOOO! I HEARD THE SONIC BOOM!

It just passed over (4:21 p..m.) on it’s way to a landing in Florida. I am such a Space Shuttle Dork.

A Day of Extreme Thanks

(above: recent ultra violet images of the sun)

I would like to thank everyone here on Yahoo 360 who has passed by and commented, said hello, put in their two or three cents, etc. You have made my life a better place for me to be. Your kind words of encouragement, facetious remarks and tongue in cheek playfulness has added greatly to my frame of mind.

I am still separated from friends and family due to Katrina and don’t work outside the house much because of MS. Thank you all for being the silly, talented, caring, clever people that you are and making my inner world a richer place.

Love and Peace for this Holiday Season,

Juli (aka Bailey, Robertuli)

Recipe for CHOCOLATE STUFF

Here it is as promised. CHOCOLATE STUFF is possibly the most fabulous chocolate (and easy) recipe ever.

Jill Conner Brown, author of the hysterically funny “Sweet Potato Queen’s Book of Love” swears that any and all life crises can be faced “with calm and grace and serenity if you have CHOCOLATE STUFF. You can eat it and feel better fast and when it wears off, you can just make another batch.”

Here is my 1st person testimonial: IT’S TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Preheat oven to 300 degrees (hint — get a cheap oven thermometer at the grocery store — best investment you’ll ever make)

Mix together 1/4 cup flour, 1/4 teaspoon of salt, and two heaping teaspoons of Hershey Dark Cocoa powder (mix with whisk). Beat two large eggs, add one generous teaspoon of vanilla. Add together.

Put one stick of real butter (or I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter) in a bowl and melt for about 20-30 seconds in the microwave. Pour butter into mixture. Fold everything together with a rubber spatula and pour into a greased loaf pan.

Put pan in bigger pan of water (optional) and bake 50-60 minutes. It is best when done (a little crunchy) on top and gooey on bottom.

It’s divine. Really. Cures anything and everything.

The photo is a pipe cleaner interpretation of the Flying Spaghetti Monster at Christmas. Banana Pecan Bread recipe tomorrow. PROMISE.

Honey Do List

Tips for enjoying the holidays !

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door where they’re serving rum balls…

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly….
Like fine single-malt scotch, it’s rare. In fact, it’s even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can’t find it any other time of year but now. So drink up… Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It’s a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me… Have two… It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas!!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole
point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make
a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy.
Eat the volcano. Repeat…

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with
skim milk or whole milk. If it’s skim, pass. Why bother?
It’s like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission
.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort
to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas
party is to eat other people’s food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now
and New Year’s. You can do that in January when you have
nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which
you’ll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a
10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog
.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet
table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size
of Santa, position yourself near them and don’t budge. Have
as many as you can before becoming the center of attention.
They’re like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them
behind, you’re never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple… Pumpkin… Mincemeat… Have a slice of each. Or, if you don’t like mincemeat, have two apples and
one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have
more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it’s loaded with
the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all
cost. I mean, have SOME standards.

10. One final tip… If you don’t feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven’t been paying attention. Reread tips… Start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner…

Entry for December 15, 2006

Okay. It’s come to the point that every relationship comes to sooner or later these days. We (Bailey is my radio name) need a name — you know so we can be cool like Brangelina or Tomkat. If you vote in my poll I will wrap a piece of my banana-pecan bread in Sunday comics paper and send it through the email. One piece per household. Although you can vote as many times as you want. hehehe.

Giggle Picture for the Day

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