Entry for June 29, 2007

God is going to strike me dead any minute now. I just know it.

You will not believe the last couple of days. I have just returned from Katrina Land. Had a Dr. appt. which I was very apprehensive about (new MRI done). I got very good news. There are no new holes in my brain. (This is very good, trust me). So I called Robert back home and passed on the good news and called my friend Vickie who was also visiting New Orleans . What more could a girl ask for? So I am driving down Clearview Parkway getting ready to cross the Huey P. Long Bridge thinking: life is good. I got a good Dr. report. I talked to Robert and he’s happy and I’m on the way to see my best friend whom I haven’t seen in two years. This is great.

I am not kidding, about 10 seconds later the radiator starts blowing out steam and the engine overheats in 90+ temp. and close to rush hour. Just before the Huey P. Long Bridge. For real.

In my last blog I dissed God on the internet and now I end up stranded at a Nun’s mobile home in New Orleans. An honest to god Roman Catholic Nun. My friend Vickie is staying with her. Does any one get the huge sense of irony in all this besides me? And to top it all off, there is a mini-bulldozer leveling the ground in the side yard. It’s an older mobile home and so far he has bashed into it twice. The second time I stuck my head out and yelled “HEY YOU — WATCH THE HOUSE!!” With unlit cigarette dangling from his lip he waved me off like some kind of annoying fly and sort of laughed.. Geez. He bashed it once more (just for fun I think) We start walking to the car. Be careful I said to Vickie, it might not be here when you get back. (I got the car going again with a little help from Stop Leak).

ANYWAY, in my last blog I was in complete despair over the state of Things in General because a sheriff’s deputy crashed his car into a tree and died. And during the funeral procession a tree fell on another deputy’s car, killing her fiance and paralyzing her. So a deputy hit a tree then a tree hit a deputy. I had a spiritual meltdown and raised my fist at The Unmoved Mover of the Universe. Whoever that happens to be. Next day I am sitting in a Nun’s trailer in New Orleans with a maniac bulldozer operator bashing things around. Maybe this is his way of flirting and getting us to come outside. The Redneck Way of knocking on the door. The Unmoved Mover of the Trailer.

We are not impressed. We go get Cold Stone ice cream. Nothing tastes better than ice cream, lots of it, after you’ve sweated your ass off in the New Orleans summer heat.

I am still not speaking to God. It’s not funny. But I might go play Charity Bingo with the Nuns at the church.

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10 Comments »

  1. Empress Celena Said:

    OK I am sorry but I did laugh my ass off through this blog. The irony was just too much for me to bear. I think that maybe god was using trees to get even with some of the police in that area that did not do their jobs to the best of their ability during a time when they were really needed (Katrina). I don’t know but that is they way I would like to think of it. I wish 5 around here would crash their vehicles or just die either one. I know very sinister of me. I am so happy to hear your good news. I do not quite understand this disease and I think it really sucks that you have it. I wish you only good health and happiness even when you are railing at god for the stupidity of man. LOL Hugs

  2. Empress Celena Said:

    By the way? I missed you! LOL Gods Jim explained to me that gods awful woman you like!!! I cannot believe you like her!!! I cannot stand her and I really don’t think it is anything she has done. I don’t know what it is about her just rubs me the wrong way! LOL I have seen her act a few times and since the last time we talked she was on the show. I don’t have a clue to my hostility toward her except the annoying roles she played on seinfeld. Hugs so glad you don’t have any new holes!

  3. Bailey Said:

    Glad to hear you missed me. I have been lurking around your blog although commenting much. I do that. I can’t explain why I like Kathy Griffin except her reality show exposes her as a contemporary Cowardly Lion. Plus she says things that I often think and would not EVEN say in polite company. Her Mom on the show is so hysterically funny — 90, sweet, foul mouthed, wino. I also like her Catholic shtick. Nobody out there as bitter as a former Catholic. Anyway, it’s on Bravo, The Gay Men’s Network of Choice. Not that there is anything WRONG with that. Nice to hear from you again.

  4. Bailey Said:

    Correction: NOT commenting much.

  5. none Said:

    lol Bailey I can put a name to your problem.. I am also a sufferer of CBS Charlie Brown Syndrome.. while the rest of the kids get candy and gum.. we will get the rock.. oh yeah.. it’s the great pumpkin of a life we lead..

    I hate to hear you are angry with God.. but that is okay .. you two will make up in the near future.. I know when I get pissed at Him.. he has a way of intensifying my syndrome till I gotta look up to find the relief valve..

    Love to hear you have no more holes in your brain than last time.. that is good for sure.. I am hoping a cure for this stuff is found soon.. I mean all it would take is money probably and well we have to fight wars and build a fence around the USA first, and build the space station don’t cha know!

  6. §{₣♫©К}Ж{№}§ Said:

    I swear, I can’t explain the ways and ironies of this world either, but it’s always fun to second guess what’s really going on. I truly enjoyed your story, as I could relate to it a lot myself. Thanks.:)

  7. Cheese Goddess Said:

    *grins* One day, I shall tell you the story of how I ended up in a Catholic hospital for my emergency appendectomy and, after having a conversation about my lack of religion with my then-boyfriend, I went to sleep and woke up with a nun standing above me, saying a prayer. And how I thought, due to all the black, that I’d died…needless to say, my “Jesus Fucking Christ” didn’t go over extremely well and I was positive that I was then going to die after that surgery.

    Your story is hugely ironic…and also amusing as hades. Sometimes I do believe that, if there isn’t a God, there is SOME perverted and easily-amused something up in the sky and once in a while, he or she likes to play games with our fragile little minds. Whatever God is up there, he or she isn’t a kind one…but you have to admit that they definitely have a KILLER sense of humor. It’s just like going to a Lewis Black show, but with more tears!

    Take care of yourself…and I’m glad that the doctor’s appointment went well! Much love to you.

  8. LadyExpat Said:

    Congrats on your MRI! bingo with the nuns…….hmmmmmmm…….have fun!!

  9. Cynthia D Said:

    That is great to hear you’ve had good medical news! Must have been a huge relief.
    I always found it real odd the things people attribute God responsible for.
    Trees get old and punk and eventually fall down. Radiators rust.
    Things have times when they are at their fullest strength, and then they deteriorate.
    Can you imagine how crowded and un-life sustaining this planet would be if this were not so?
    I adore much of India’s contribution to spiritual wisdom. In a lot of ways it has always seemed like my real spiritual home.
    I’m not a Catholic, but it seems a lot of nuns are great, self sacrificing people who genuinely try to help a lot of folks in the world nobody else seems to.
    Listen: Every time you find yourself asking “Why does God allow this?” ask instead Why do WE allow it. Most of the problems humanity harvests were sown with humanities’ own hands.
    Maybe, just maybe this whole shebang was initiated so that we could learn to clean up our OWN messes.
    If so, we have nobody to blame but ourselves.

  10. Bailey Said:

    Well as usual you guys always show up and have words of wisdom that help me put things back into perspective. Cheesie I really MUST hear the appendectomy story. Sounds like something that would happen to me. Thank you Cynthia for foiling my judementalness (is that a word) and making god or the gods not seem like looney toons. Although I still have my suspicions. Glad you could relate Hippie Man. Didn’t even know you were still blogging. Nice to see you back. And Lockie, the ole rock in the Halloween bag trick. I am wise to it. Thanks for reminding me. I will let you know if I hear from Iggie. Hope he’s okay. Oh and thanks for the well wishes LadyE. Appreciate it.


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