Baileyryan's Blog

Greetings Earthlings and Extraterrestrials (you never know). I have had yet another sustained absence from the Blog World and have missed every last one of you terribly.

This weather is enough to make me believe in Global Warming. yuck. Seriously, I believe in very little anymore. This is a good thing though. I feel lighter. You know, the ole “I feel much better now that I’ve given up hope.”

Nothing but great news on this end of the USA. Robert and I ARE going to be in a film shooting down here in October. No kidding. And you thought I was just kidding. It’s called “Lost River” and set around the 1850s. And it looks like I will be doing the production photos for the film, too. So, I am just waiting for summer to kick the bucket so I can have some fun. Sweating is just not for me.

Also have started selling Horsie Treats to a local feed store and they are going out the door pretty quickly. I also do gourmet dog biscuits (dipped in yogurt and carob etc) and am going to sell those there too. It’s something I have done off and on but this looks like the right place and time.

But the best news of all is that I just underwent a surgical biopsy because something suspicious showed up on a recent mammogram and a follow-up ultrasound. It all went amazingly well (the surgery) and the growth turned out to be fibrocystic in nature. BENIGN. No cancer. Phew. Dodged a bullet that time. So, if I may be preachy here, Girls — get those mammograms is all I can say. My doc sent me for a routine screen that I would not have done on my own. Silly me. If you have a family history — do it earlier. No history, I would start at 30. And the self exams of course. But here is a case of something I was bombarded by the media with to the point of being unconcerned. No way I would volunteer to go get my boobs squeezed into a machine by a stranger (it really wasn’t that bad — it would’ve been fun if I’d had a Sharpie).

ANYWAY– take care of yourselves. It’s the only body you’ll ever get.

Ta for now.

Greetings Earthlings!

Just when Robert thought he was going to lose his mind keeping Bill the Cat busy, along comes Bert and saves the day. He’s been staying outside since the weather got warm and I’m thinking he decided to trade a little babysitting for some time in a climate-controlled environment and some Kitten Chow. It works out well. After he’s worn out his welcome with Robert, we let in Bert, then when Bert has had it, he sleeps with me for ahile and sucks on my finger, then we hand him off to my dog, Daisy, which is a miracle because she doesn’t put up with anything. But I caught them redhanded sleeping together. Murray even gets in on it and the bird, Shriek. It’s busy in the living room, to say the least. Oh barf. It all sounds so cute and Disney-like. Excuse me while I throw up.

Okay, I’m back. It honestly is nice having a kitten in the house. Of course, I need another animal like I need a hole in the head. And someone is trying to give me a thoroughbred colt that is around 10 days old now. Hmmmmmm. Should I even think about this one? Ha ha. Here’s one for ya. Are we gonna end up with it or not? He won’t be ready to leave his Momma til November. Enter my poll and win a new Visio big screen tv. (okay maybe not, how about an old digital clock radio ? — only the radio and alarm work — not the cd player). This is a for real contest unless you live overseas. I can’t afford the postage if you do. Vote early and often. Tell me what I want to hear and then email me how many times you voted. I will do the rest.

Tune in next time for details on how you may see Robert and Me in a Major Motion Picture coming soon to a Theatre Near You. (I know what you perverts were thinking — NO it is NOT Porno) You wish.

—– The Subaru assembly plant in Indiana celebrates three years of operation without taking out the trash. It sends nothing to a landfill. Raw materials go in, cars – and little else – come out. Subaru says it has recycled or reused 97 percent of its excess or leftover materials like steel, plastic, wood, paper and glass. The other 3 percent supplies electricity for the Indianapolis area through the steam generated and captured during incineration.

—– A $390,000 donation to the Gulf Coast School Library Recovery Initiative will go a long way toward putting books on the shelves and hope back in the hearts of kids and their teachers in the hurricane-devastated region, thanks to a unique PGA contest called Birdies for Books. For every birdie hole played at the April 2007 New Orleans PGA pro golf tournament, $100 was pledged to the Laura Bush Foundation library effort by tour sponsor, Zurich Financial Services.

—- China, the world’s largest producer of ozone depleting chemicals, chlorofluorocarbons (CFC) and halon, has shut down five of its six remaining plants and banned their wide use. The facilities were closed during a symbolic ceremony on Sunday organized by Chinese authorities and chemical companies that agreed to stop manufacturing chemicals harmful to the ozone layer

— “North Korea’s cooperation was ‘excellent’, said a UN inspector on Friday after visiting a nuclear reactor with his 4-person team from the International Atomic Energy Agency. It was the first UN inspection of the reactor in five years and full access to all areas was allowed.”

— 23-year-old Barrington Irving is claiming to be the youngest, and the first black man to circle the globe solo. His journey took 97 days in a plane he built himself with donated parts and named Inspiration. He plans to inspire other minority youths to pursue aviation..

— “Israelis try to cushion the effects of their daily stress by taking part in the third annual mass pillow fight. While Israeli forces attack in Gaza and the regional conflict seemed far from an end, residents of the coastal city of Tel Aviv engage in some stress-busting scuffles involving pillows.”

Source: Good News Network International

This is Bill the Cat. He is the newest addition to the entourage here. Robert found him screaming bloody murder under his auntie’s house. Bill is ultra-cool. He didn’t like the bath I gave him but he was so greasy I just had to do it. His best buddy is Murray. Together they annoy the hell out of my dog Daisy. Anyway, I am enjoying having a kitten around the house. It lightens everything up a lot.

And I have not been struck dead yet. So it’s a good day.

I am looking for good news to print now (and NOT the Jehovah’s Witness newspaper) and will post it here as I find it. It may take some looking on my part. But I am tired of all the drama. Okay the world is gonna end in 2059. That gives us 52 years and then some. I will give you the exact countdown when I can compute it better (I am hardly awake yet).

But behold Earthlings I am gonna give you good tidings of great joy to make up for my morose mood the past few months. If I can find it.

God is going to strike me dead any minute now. I just know it.

You will not believe the last couple of days. I have just returned from Katrina Land. Had a Dr. appt. which I was very apprehensive about (new MRI done). I got very good news. There are no new holes in my brain. (This is very good, trust me). So I called Robert back home and passed on the good news and called my friend Vickie who was also visiting New Orleans . What more could a girl ask for? So I am driving down Clearview Parkway getting ready to cross the Huey P. Long Bridge thinking: life is good. I got a good Dr. report. I talked to Robert and he’s happy and I’m on the way to see my best friend whom I haven’t seen in two years. This is great.

I am not kidding, about 10 seconds later the radiator starts blowing out steam and the engine overheats in 90+ temp. and close to rush hour. Just before the Huey P. Long Bridge. For real.

In my last blog I dissed God on the internet and now I end up stranded at a Nun’s mobile home in New Orleans. An honest to god Roman Catholic Nun. My friend Vickie is staying with her. Does any one get the huge sense of irony in all this besides me? And to top it all off, there is a mini-bulldozer leveling the ground in the side yard. It’s an older mobile home and so far he has bashed into it twice. The second time I stuck my head out and yelled “HEY YOU — WATCH THE HOUSE!!” With unlit cigarette dangling from his lip he waved me off like some kind of annoying fly and sort of laughed.. Geez. He bashed it once more (just for fun I think) We start walking to the car. Be careful I said to Vickie, it might not be here when you get back. (I got the car going again with a little help from Stop Leak).

ANYWAY, in my last blog I was in complete despair over the state of Things in General because a sheriff’s deputy crashed his car into a tree and died. And during the funeral procession a tree fell on another deputy’s car, killing her fiance and paralyzing her. So a deputy hit a tree then a tree hit a deputy. I had a spiritual meltdown and raised my fist at The Unmoved Mover of the Universe. Whoever that happens to be. Next day I am sitting in a Nun’s trailer in New Orleans with a maniac bulldozer operator bashing things around. Maybe this is his way of flirting and getting us to come outside. The Redneck Way of knocking on the door. The Unmoved Mover of the Trailer.

We are not impressed. We go get Cold Stone ice cream. Nothing tastes better than ice cream, lots of it, after you’ve sweated your ass off in the New Orleans summer heat.

I am still not speaking to God. It’s not funny. But I might go play Charity Bingo with the Nuns at the church.

Greetings Earthlings. This blogger is in a very weird mood today. I have decided one thing after all the years of thinking and pondering and reading philosophers and learning string theory and studying religion. (I have done a LOT of all of these – 38 years total).

It just plain doesn’t MATTER how we got here. We may never know. It doesn’t matter but war is so evil and horrible. And ridiculously man-made. Occasionally necessary but most of the time not. It just doesn’t matter how we got here but how we live once we get here. And war is totally antithetical to life. Yeah, I know all the arguments. And I am not talking about Iraq. Or even the soldiers there. War sucks. I just wish everyone would quit arguing over who is The Heavenly Boss. Besides, I think it’s more about real estate than heaven. Bleah bleah bleah.

Anyway, that is my big fat conclusion after seeing such horror happening over and over to good people, to bad people. God is out playing golf if he does exist. Besides, it really isn’t important. Not to give power to the atheists. They don’t know squat either. Zealots in their own right.

I have abandoned my search for truth and am now looking for a good fantasy (Ashleigh Brilliant). I can’t believe I have wasted so much time thinking about this and thinking maybe there was an explanation somewhere. But I just heard about the most horrible thing happening to a local sheriff’s deputy. It’s just not right or even close to being fair or overseen by a loving and personal god. No freaking way.

She and her fiance (also a deputy) were in a funeral procession for a deputy killed that week in the line of duty when a severe storm cell popped up, possibly a tornado, pouring down rain and uprooting a tree. The tree fell on their vehicle, killing her fiance and paralyzing her from the chest down.

I just don’t get it. This is not an urban legend. It’s on the front page. I officially throw in the towel and admit I don’t have a clue. I’m not sure I want one anymore. That poor woman had everthing to look forward to in this life and blam a tree falls on the car during a FUNERAL for a co-worker no less. Geez.

Okay enough of that. To change the subject, I would like to apply to be Kathy Griffin’s personal stalker. I think she has gotten famous enough for that. Although I am not gay and she has a large gay fan base. But I am going to apply for the job. Send her an email. She sent one to Liza so I guess I can send one to her.

Of, course I would have to move back to L.A. (gross) and get a van with a lift on the back so I can keep up with stalking her. I can’t walk too fast (the MS) and would have to get a scooter. But I keep thinking this might be a good career move for me.

It’s never too late to live your dreams.

P.S. Don’t tell Robert.

(Oh, and I almost forgot, tune in tomorrow for “Adventures With Bill the Cat.”)

Yes, I am alive and well and living in Bumf**k, Egypt. I had a lot going on last month and am just now starting to surface again. The court case was decided in my favor so that is one more hassle off the list of life’s little pain’s in the arse. (Promise to tell the story soon, it’s a real corker). Involves my horse and a lunatic redneck hunter (and me).

I got my horse, Kalyth, onto the property about 3 weeks ago. It has done a lot for my attitude (see previous blogs). Will post pictures soon. There is something about the outside of a horse that is really good for the inside of a person. It’s true. I’ve worked with handicapped kids and horses and have seen it happen. Very therapeutic.

The picture is of my squirrel, Murray. He is such a character. He shares my art room with me and I must say he is very messy. He has appropriated one of my favorite curtains for his own personal hammock and I don’t have the heart to take it away from him. He hasn’t made a mark on it. (He usually chews holes in his blankies) . This particular photo makes me laugh because he has taken to sleeping this way at night. He only has 3 legs and sleeps in his little curtain hammock and lets the leg and tail hang down. Okay, so this is what humor has become to me. I need to get more of a Life. I am working on photos and paintings and gardening etc. But I have a huge soft spot for Murray or as we call him around here “The Mur.”

It’s the middle of June and we already have vegetables out of the garden here. (Louisiana) Can’t beat the fresh stuff.

Ta for now.

P.S. Still unpacking. Think I will be unpacking forever.

Greetings from the middle of Nowhere and Not Much Else. I have been busy fingerpainting and unpacking. Still unpacking books, books and more books. A friend of mine in Los Angeles swore he would never help a reader move again after helping me move twice in a row.

Thanks to everyone who has stopped by and posted or commented even though I have TOTALLY neglected you. Empress and Cheesie, and T and Ms. K, and Beatleboy (trivia and all) and Lady Expat and BD and Cynthia and CoyDog and Lockerridge, Evil Skeever, Elvirah, Von, Iamigloo, well, shoot, I can’t think of anymore names. But you know who you are.

What I wanna know is why are entire cities disappearing? It is so creepy. I feel so bad for those people in Kansas and at the same time when I hear them talk about FEMA I think, good luck amigos. New Orleans is still a ghost town for the most part. And my family is spread to the 4 winds, well actually the 3 winds.

And then I think about Pompeii. Oh well.

Nothing new under the sun I guess. But it feels creepy.

A really great Zen poet named Issa summed it up rather well:

We walk on hell
Gazing at flowers

Something like that. I wish they would start the “Scrubs” channel and I would just watch that silly show all day. That’s what I would do.

Life is so fragile. I’m trying to enjoy my visit and not complain too much when it’s time to leave. Every day really is lagniappe as they say here in Louisiana: something extra.

Hey Ya’ll!!! Operation Move to the Sticks was a complete success. I am out here watching the cars rust and the grass grow (and the tomatoes and cucumbers and potatoes etc). Thanks for all the nice comments and messages. I don’t know if I’d rather move or get dental work done. Hmmm. Toss up.

Next up I have some legal things to take care of and will be down in Katrina Land til the weekend. Wish me luck. Will write about it more when it’s over. Ridiculous story.

As soon as it’s all over I am going to go sit in my room and fingerpaint for a week.

Robert says hi.

HOPPY EASTER ALL MY FRUITY, NUTTY AND CHOCOLATELY FRIENDS!